the purge

the purge continues....

I've been working on cleaning out our basement every chance I get, in between the boys naps and late nights. I just did a huge chunk tonight. It can be so overwhelming. So much stuff! Too much stuff!

Made me think again how much stuff I have in my heart and soul that need purging. Stuff I haven't even uncovered. Stuff I shoved away in a corner so I don't have to deal with it. Just like cleaning out the basement I'm continually surprised when i unpack boxes and go through things how much i have shoved away.

Help me Lord to get rid of more of the physical possessions I've held on to that are only destroyed by moth and dust. Give me wisdom to toss what needs to be tossed, to pass on the things others can use, and to sell what we can and use that money toward the non-material things that please you.

I pray the same of my heart. Help me to let go, open up, and release the dusty, dark, areas of my heart that you would fill me with more of your light. Thank you Jesus! Amen!

realization

i'm at a realization that i have too much clutter.

Material clutter- too much stuff in my home that is not necessary.
Spiritual clutter- too much stuff in my spirit that i'm not releasing to God.
Brain clutter- too much distractions, not enough focus on the important.

As i sat in my basement and sorted through the material clutter i read journals and old essays i've written in college and even high school. Yes, i'm still hanging on to papers i've written since high school.

While reading I was inspired by the determined youth i was. I had so much passion and vigor for life. Nothing stood in the way of my aspirations and dreams. And if something did, I would dust off, get up, and keep going.

I learned I was a great writer. I was bold. I didn't hold back. Where did that youthful vigor go? Why as I've gotten older does it seem I'm more reserved or am I? In a lot of ways I have gained freedom from the knowledge of my youth and in other ways that same knowledge has built walls in my soul. I proceed with more caution. Is it the experiences that have told me over the years to slow and yield? Where as a youth all experiences were new and I dove in freely.

I need balance. I need to let down walls I've built. Take out the clutter so I can see the God stirrings of my soul. So I can hear his spirit guiding within me. Wanting to burst out. For my soul to burst forth to the glory of it's makers purpose.

the start

It's 1:24am on a wednesday and i take the plunge to start a new blog.

My soul has been stirring within me... yearning to search, find, and nurture the person God designed me to be. God has breathed into my soul since before I existed. I am His. And I journey on to discover the deeper parts of who He has created me to be.

I fear. Yet I trust in an all knowing God. I am His. The more I let go of me, the more I learn about the me in Him.

Holy Spirit be my guide.
Awaken me.
Stir me.